Simple Strategies to Help Your Child Manage Anxiety

As parents, we all want to raise happy, confident children. However, it is natural for all children to experience anxious thoughts at some point and it’s important to teach kids how to deal with these difficult emotions, especially as levels of anxiety continue to increase across the country. At times, anxiety can help children stay safe by providing a warning signal for dangerous situations, but for some children, common activities, such as visiting a friend’s home, experiencing changes at school, or going to the doctor, can cause excessive worrying.

The good news? Parents and grownups can use simple strategies to support kids when anxious thoughts arise.

• Talk to your child about what might occur at upcoming events. In an episode of “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood,” Daniel is nervous about his first visit to the hospital. His parents discuss in detail what Daniel will need to wear at the hospital (a gown and a mask) and show him pictures of each. They also make sure Daniel is familiar with what will happen during the operation. By talking openly about and sharing visual examples of something your child isn’t familiar with, you can support your child in being comfortable. For example, you can use books to make ideas more concrete for young minds.

• Act it out. Practice what might happen so that your child knows what they might say or do in new situations. Daniel uses a pretend doctor’s kit to care for his stuffed animals in preparation for his hospital visit. If your child is going to a playdate, practice asking for turns with toys or saying thank you after receiving a snack.

• Explain the why. Often, kids feel anxious about new situations because they hold little control over them. When Daniel learns that his operation will help him get better, he feels better. Sharing the reason behind these situations will empower your child. Make sure to use language your child will understand, “You need to start at a new school because you are ready for kindergarten and learning to read and write is important” or “We are visiting the doctor’s office to keep you strong and healthy.”

• Allow your child to bring a favorite item. Daniel’s grandfather gives him a special music box to bring to the hospital, which soothes Daniel and helps him adjust to the new environment. Bringing a beloved stuffed animal, book, or blanket when going somewhere new can bring a sense of security and ease anxiety. Inviting your child to choose what to bring builds confidence and trust.

If your child continues to worry, try these simple strategies in the moment. It’s important to practice these strategies before times of stress to prepare children to use them.

• Validate their feelings. Teach your child that feelings are big and real! Say something like, “I know this feels very hard right now, but I will help you through it.” Avoid talking about how frightening his worries are or coming up with ways to avoid the situation. Recognizing and affirming your child’s emotions while facing them head on will empower your child and strengthen the parent-child bond!

• Breathe! Deep breaths reset the mind and body for calmness. Have your child name their breathing routine. Lifting arms up to the sky like a superhero might be called “superhero breathing” or pretending to blow off the seeds of a dandelion might be called “dandelion breath.” Have your child practice deep breathing before they feel anxious so they’re ready to put them into action when anxiety arises.

• Get the worries out. Play a song three times or set a timer to allow your child to think about what’s worrying them, knowing that there will be an “end” to it. Explain that when the time’s up, they can move on to activities that bring them joy, like playing a favorite game or completing an art project.

• Write or draw anxious thoughts. Helping your child express themselves using words and pictures teaches them healthy coping strategies to deal with negative feelings. It also allows them a chance to practice naming their feelings.

If your child struggles with anxiety to the degree that it negatively impacts everyday activities, it might be time to speak with a professional. Talk to your pediatrician about seeking help for you and your child.