When you’re a new parent, it can feel like you are feeding your baby approximately 100 hours per day. OK, so that’s not possible—but newborns require near constant feedings, and as babies grow, we are still logging some serious time breastfeeding or bottle feeding.
May I add that any moment I am not breastfeeding my now 11-month-old son, I’m engaged in other caregiving tasks like changing his diapers, bathing him, doing his laundry, making meals, playing with him, shopping for his many needs, and the list goes on.
So, when is an overstretched mama supposed to find time to relax, unwind, and mindlessly scroll through her phone? Well, certainly not while breastfeeding if you are to believe some experts who insist looking at your phone during this at-times lonely, repetitive activity interferes with bonding and development.
The topic was highlighted during a recent episode of The Kardashians on Hulu when psychoanalyst and parent coach Erica Komisar told Kourtney Kardashian Barker she should avoid using her phone while breastfeeding. But this has been an ongoing debate for years. For example, one concerned parent on Reddit once shared she had an argument with her boyfriend over whether she should look at her phone while breastfeeding. “He says he read some reports that this behavior would harm the baby/relationship,” the Redditor wrote.
The Concern With Phone Use While Breastfeeding
A very small study in 2021 found that a mother’s gaze toward their baby decreased when using a smartphone while breastfeeding.1 While that may sound obvious, it can impact connection.
“Breastfeeding while talking on the phone reduces eye contact and responsiveness potentially impacting mother-child bonding,” says Kecia Gaither, MD, MPH, double board-certified in OB-GYN and maternal fetal medicine, and the director of perinatal services/maternal fetal medicine at NYC Health + Hospitals/Lincoln. “Infants rely on visual cues and maternal attention during feeding for emotional security and development.”
There are other potential repercussions if you are distracted while feeding, such as limiting skin-to-skin contact and oxytocin release, which supports bonding and even milk letdown. Your baby can grow fussier and engage in behaviors that seek attention.
Parents can also miss hunger or fullness cues, according to Carly Dulabon, MD, IBCLC, NABBLM-C, director of breastfeeding medicine at Akron Children’s Hospital.
One has to wonder if there are any adverse health effects of having your phone near your baby, too.
“When it comes to the radiation from cell phones, we just don’t really know,” says Dr. Dulabon. “There is no good scientific evidence that it is harmful, but likely more studies need to be done.”
And as Kelly Brower, MD, CLC, a pediatrician at Nemours Children’s Health, Radnor, points out, excessive social media use may be linked to an increase in postpartum depression. To be fair, research shows online interventions may prove helpful for moms who are struggling.
Should You Avoid Using Your Phone While Breastfeeding?
Like with most things, moderation is key when it comes to this issue. Indeed, some phone use is probably fine, according to Dr. Dulabon.
“I don’t think it’s reasonable to tell breastfeeding parents they shouldn’t use their cell phones at all,” she says. “That’s just not the society we live in today.”
Dr. Brower has a similar take and urges parents, “Please do not feel shame for ‘me time’ you need to take while breastfeeding.”
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life, and then continue to breastfeed with complementary foods for at least two years (and beyond if desired).3 And babies can nurse up to about 12 times a day. So if you’re a parent who is breastfeeding, that can feel like a lot.
“Moms should feel empowered to do things for themselves throughout that time,” Dr. Brower says.
Ideally, parents should use apps that aren’t distracting. “I would encourage them to put down the phone when able and interact with their baby, talk to him or her, especially as they get older and more social,” Dr. Dulabon advises.
Clearly this is a complicated issue, and will definitely give me pause the next time my baby latches on. On the one hand, I’m left reflecting that before phones, parents watched TV or read a book while breastfeeding. Distracted feeding has likely been a reality for a long time.
But, we obviously want to be giving our babies love and attention as much as possible. This topic serves as a gentle reminder to put the phone down more often and bond while breastfeeding and throughout the day. However, it’s certainly not criminal to zone out and be human other times, too.
“The quality of your screen time matters, especially for new moms,” says Dr. Brower. “Don’t doom scroll. But if you want to watch a show that helps you decompress from the tiring wonder that is raising a newborn, I’m all for it.”
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